Week #11 Vajrayogini Buddhist Center

Finally! It’s time to get to the interesting stuff outside of the Christian norm…Here is the tricky part with the non-Christian religions: turns out they don’t just meet every Sunday at 10:00am.  The previous inhabitants of our house were apparently Scientologists, or were a bit too liberal with disclosing their address.  Regardless, we are now the recipients of some very creepy videos, catalogs and brochures.  Before you get too excited, the point is that I still don’t know how to actually attend a Scientology function.  I know where to order a Scientology E-reader.  We all know that an E-reader is an electronic device used during Dianetics and Scientology auditing, and that the device is a variation of a Wheatstone bridge, which measures electrical resistance and skin conductance, but now I also know how to get one.  However, I still don’t know how we would actually attend a Scientology service.  Judging from the fact that the catalogs list no prices, I’m pretty sure we could not afford to attend an event even if we did know when to show up.  Point being, the interesting stuff may take some planning and investment.  S o for this week we branched out, but just not that far.  We went in search of dharma at week #11 Vajrayogini Buddhist Center.

This center practiced Kadampa Buddhism, a Mahayana Buddhist school founded by the great Indian Buddhist Master Atisha in the 11^th century.  So it is a few days older than Scientology.  However, the two religions do have one striking similarity.  Both focus on scamming funds from wealthy action film stars to build elaborate facilities and manufacture 7^th grade science fair contraptions to measure fictional biological factors that can then be sold back to celebrities at undisclosed prices.  Just kidding, that is only one of the two religions.  But they both do seem to hold reverence for images of their religious leaders, and honestly, I think that is about all they have in common.   

The photo below illustrates this comparison.  It is a page from a Scientology catalog that arrived in our mailbox on Wednesday featuring a spread of L. Ron Hubbard portraits spanning the last 30 years juxtapose to a collection of Buddhist monk photos and stone carvings that I bought for about 2 baht apiece on a street corner in Bangkok.  Most Thais wear similar images around their necks, and temple altars typically feature a framed photo of a monk; the L. Ron Hubbard thing is just weird. 

We have been to beautiful, elaborate Buddhist temples in Nepal, Thailand and India, but Buddhism in Fairfax County Virginia lacks that history and establishment, so today’s teaching and meditation session was held at a public meeting place.  It is actually a historical chapel on the grounds of a public park that is rentable for weddings, meetings and meditations.  The setting may have been more conducive to this service a month ago, but it is now mid-April and little league is in full swing, literally.  We had to park along the third-base line, so the first part of my meditation was wasted praying a foul ball wouldn’t go through my windshield. 

The service started out much like last week, Brian was unsure and made us circle the building to make sure it was a go.  Last week, we at least got to circle in the car, this week we were already parked and he make me walk through the wet grass and stand 20 yards away as we waited to see who entered.  My feet were getting damp, so I finally walked up, spoke to the lady at the door and waived Brian to come on in (never once indicating that everyone inside was over 60 and had ovaries).  In the chapel, there were two rows of chairs in a semi circle around a single chair and podium holding a Buddha statute and a photo of the monk who was to lead the teaching and meditation.  At least I think it was the same monk; it is hard to tell, they all dress the same and have the same haircut.  This monk was a Caucasian female so I should really be more confident about that.  Correction: she was not a monk, but a nun, just checked out that fact, sorry.  Both monks and nuns wear the traditional yellow and maroon robes, shave their heads and give up many of the awesome things in life like sex and trips to Nordstrom Rack (so many deals on so many great brands, and they just don’t even care). 

The service asked for a $12 donation up front to help cover the costs of the room.  Actually, we appreciate that, since we began this adventure, it always results in the same scenario when the collection basket comes around.  We whisper about what to give, decide on an amount and then check our wallets to determine that I only have three dollars and some change and Brian only has a $20.  Do we give a $20, does the golden rule of never tipping change apply here, is it wrong to make change out of the cash in the basket…? Ah such stress, not today! We knew what to give, it was on the website.  Getting that out of the way, we were ready to get our meditation on. 

The service was all led by the nun and we started with a breathing mediation exercise.  She asked that we all close our eyes and focus on our breathing for about 10-15 minutes.  I found this much more relaxing then having to stand then sit, then stand then sit, then stand then kneel , we got in a zone.  After the breathing meditation, the nun delivered a teaching about inner peace.  Somewhat similar to the sermon, but much more casual and referencing a book that looked like it could be purchased at an airport bookstore.   After the teaching, we were asked to have a discussion about the teaching with another person in the room.  Turns out that the person next to me is not great about spiritual discussions.  I told him what I got out of the teaching, which was about finding happiness by eliminating negative thoughts as well as using your thoughts, words, actions and being to make life happier and better for those around you.  Then I asked what he had gotten out of it and what he planned to meditate on for the second meditation.  I think he answered something to the effect of “what you said.” Then he outlined why he can’t meditate because it is like a TV show in his head and there is too much awesomeness going on inside it and he forgot to take his Zyrtec  so he couldn’t breathe through his nose.  All I could think is, man this guy needs some mediation, and who let him leave the house in dad sneakers, basketball shorts, a promotional t-shirt and hat hair. Oh wait, that was me, I really let him wear that, oh well. 

After the discussion, we concluded with a mantra meditation focused on the Sanskrit words “Om” “Ah” “Hum”.  This incorporated saying “Om” on the inhale, “Ah” on the pause and “Hum” on the exhale .  This mantra brings the primal, universal, infinite vibration into one's heart and being, into one's awareness. (wow Brian actually came up with that line, so I guess he brought more than just seasonal allergies to this).  That was pretty much the service. 

For those less familiar with the practice, it focuses on the belief that through training in meditation and other Buddhist practices you can improve the quality of your life by developing inner peace, compassion, and wisdom.  That sounds pretty awesome, but how do you get there:  apparently, “happiness and suffering are states of mind, and so their main causes cannot be found outside the mind. The real source of happiness is inner peace. If our mind is peaceful, we shall be happy all the time, regardless of external conditions, but if it is disturbed or troubled in any way, we shall never be happy, no matter how good our external conditions may be. External conditions can only make us happy if our mind is peaceful. We can understand this through our own experience. For instance, even if we are in the most beautiful surroundings and have everything we need, the moment we get angry any happiness we may have disappears. This is because anger has destroyed our inner peace. We can see from this that if we want true, lasting happiness we need to develop and maintain a special experience of inner peace. The only way to do this is by training our mind through spiritual practice – gradually reducing and eliminating our negative, disturbed states of mind and replacing them with positive, peaceful states.” 

Well that is what the website says, and it sounds simple enough.  The downside is that I think it takes more than 90 minutes of breathing in a park to get there.  Once the Buddhists invent an electronic device that pulsates inner peace straight from a direct current connection into one’s soul, I think it will catch on in America or at least Hollywood.